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You see, where I’m from you’re either the best or you’re not it.

It didn’t matter if you were the Best in English in your class if you weren’t the overall Best in the class.

I wrote a major exam once and I passed, considering the circumstances surrounding which I wrote the exam, I’d say I did pretty good. I was proud of myself, I thought I’d done a good job.

But I wasn’t met with the same excitement. It was just a content smile here and there and I felt underappreciated cos I knew others who had performed less than I did and they were commended.

So I said, “you know, in some other people’s houses, if they scored as high as I did, they’d be celebrating by now.”

And the response I got was, “we’re not other people.”

It stung, a lot….😂

More so because when I failed a major exam once (and by fail, I mean I had an average score), it was all I heard for weeks. It made me wonder, Why couldn’t my successes be spoken about like my failures?

Why was it that when I didn’t do a good job was spoken about a lot more than when I did a good job?

And I think it conditioned me to shine the light on my shortcomings while my strengths remain in the dark. Because somewhere in the recess of my mind, my failures deserve more attention than my triumphs.

I find myself disregarding small wins and focusing on the tiniest little mistakes, dwelling on what I’d done wrong rather than what I’d done right because that was what was constantly being shoved in my face.

Now, your story may not fall along these lines but we might have similar endings.

You have friends, don’t you?
Think of a friend you love so much.
Are you there?
Imagine he/she made a little mistake, would you constantly dwell on that?
So why can’t you afford the same kindness you express to other people to yourself?

If you can beat yourself up over a tiny mistake, why can’t you celebrate a small achievement?

It’s December.

And yes, I know some of us are already outlining the stuff we have or haven’t achieved this year.

But while you do that, remember that we are to learn from mistakes and not place our entire worth on them.

Nobody likes failure.

Or do you?

I know I don’t.

I like the satisfaction of ticking a goal off my list.

But the thought of failing at something I’d already set out to achieve? Nahh😩

But we keep pushing..

I keep trying because I can’t not try. 🙂

I can’t not try.🙂

Not trying feels even worse than failure for me….

So I didn’t know what to title this post😂😂😂

That’s why you see “Untitled” 😂😂

But if you by chance have any ideas on a suitable title for this post, it would be very much appreciated 🥺

Happy new month 🤸🤸🤸

Published by Adora

A not so average Nigerian Gen-Zer with an exceptional and extraordinary imagination, passion for writing and french. Subscribe to experience and enjoy fun and creative content on this space

25 thoughts on “Untitled🤷

  1. That’s a strict background. Are you from Asia. I’ve heard a lot of jokes based on how strict Asian parents are when it comes to results.
    Keep winning 🥳

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I get how you feel.
    It starts making you a perfectionist, nothing is worth until it is perfect or amazing kind of lifestyle.
    And as much as we want to say that we shouldn’t care about what other people think, we definitely want our loved ones to be very proud when we get a small win. So it hurts when we don’t get that reaction

    Liked by 3 people

    1. This is such a beautiful and deep comment, you took the words from all our minds. It’s amazing! And so true, as much as we claim to not need people’s approval, we genuinely want then to care and celebrate even our tiniest wins too.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This is such a great piece, not just because you’re and amazing writer🙄 (that I trained you to be by the way) but because it speaks so much truth, I wrote something a bit similar, it should soon be out but yours sums it all up. And this is a truth that needs awareness!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Growing up in a Caribbean household, I experienced this a lot and it stayed with me even now (some days it’s more prevalent than I’d like it to be but I’m unlearning and trying to recondition my mind). I enjoyed reading this post, well-written 👏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed this post. It’s relieving to see that I’m not the only one who feels this way because sometimes I believe I might be exaggerating the feeling so thank you 💙

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Sometimes we have to learn that we need to first please ourselves, then others. If we do everything from an unhappy heart we are losing before we start. And…no failures, only lessons😎
    Look after yourself and your own well being if you want success.
    I so understood your post. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a gradual process, learning to please me first. To believe I did my best even when no other person feels so. Thank you for reading ✨💙

      Liked by 2 people

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