A Recipe For Disaster

It happened again, like it happened all the other times.

I’ve been off this space for a good number of weeks without any solid reason. I wish I could say I was busy with life, chasing the bag and all that but I’d be lying.

Procrastination is the major reason why I haven’t been consistent here. Procrastination coupled with Overthinking and Perfectionism with a sprinkle of Imposter Syndrome. There you have it, the perfect recipe for disaster.

But I didn’t stop writing, oh no, I infact started a writing challenge on WhatsApp and if you’d like to participate, kindly click on the link below and see where it leads you- https://wa.link/uw4yal

I think the problem was that I’d set a standard for my blog this year. I had a plan, a schedule, everything and my perfectionist ass kicked into the gear at the first opportunity. I had written blog posts but when the scheduled date was approaching, I’d chicken out and fail to publish it.

Week after week, that was the cycle. Sometimes I procrastinated and just missed the deadline.

That’s why I made it essential to write this post today and publish it today no matter how imperfect it is.

The overthinking part was when I started to question why I even had a blog in the first place. I’m not making any progress or achieving anything with it, so why make it a priority? I contemplated just ending the whole thing since it just seemed like a waste of time and effort.

If I’m as good as people say, then surely I should have achieved more, right? You’re supposed to get better at something when you practice and do it consistently and frankly, I wasn’t seeing any improvement in my writing. It just felt so ‘not good enough’. I felt like a fraud.

And with each week that went by, I felt guilty for just abandoning this space. I tried to come back but it just didn’t feel the same.

I don’t know if I’m back but I’m going to stop the whole scheduling thing. Life was fun when I just put up posts randomly. Now, it feels like work.

I’m afraid to watch all the work I put in these past few months just wither and die away. It seems that is already happening…

Regardless, I promise to show up at least twice a month, even when I don’t feel like it.

By the way, My blog was a year old on March 13th. So happy anniversary, I guess. 🤧

Finally, boys and girls.. don’t be like me. Discipline and consistency all that you do.